MY NAME IS PHIL AND I’M A ROCK STAR…”HI PHIL”

As I sit and write today, I find myself aggravated by the over use of the moniker “Rock Star”. Years ago, the title of Rock Star came with honor and mystique. Today most unoriginal, brainless humans use it as a way to describe anyone or anything that remotely resembles ability or talent. With that said, let’s start from the beginning with the definition. “Rock Star”: A famous performer and composer of rock music. In other words, unless you’re in a band, wrote songs, performed them on a recording to fulfill a recording contract , was on MTV , sold records worldwide to large amounts of people , performed concerts and signed your autograph on said recordings, YOU’RE NOT A FUCKING ROCK STAR!! That especially includes actors and their bullshit bands. Does my appearance on Californication make me an actor? NO, it makes me a Rock Star trying to act. (Side Note: I was brilliant)

Now that the definition is clear, any use of Rock Star shall be banned unless pertaining to the true meaning. Let me guess, you’re still not getting it? Well, let me be perfectly clear. If you’re watching football and the quarterback throws an amazing pass, he’s not a Rock Star of football; he’s an over paid quarterback doing his fucking job. When fans come to one of my concerts, they don’t yell out, “My god, Phil is a quarterback of drumming”. Some people would argue that using the term Rock Star to describe success outside of the music business is a compliment to real Rock Stars. I say Fuck You!

During its early incarnation that put it on the inevitable path to over use, Rock Star was used to describe very famous and successful people. These days, it seems anyone can be a Rock Star. Hey look how good that guy cleans the pool; he’s a “Rock Star” of the chlorinated H2O. Wow, look at the gardener go, he’s the “Rock Star” of weed management. Holy shit that guy can pump gas; he’s a “Rock Star” of Petroleum Distribution.

NOTABLES:
Emeril Lagasse – Not a Rock Star of Cooking…He’s a Chef
Steven Tyler- Rock Star
Dane Cook – Not a Rock Star of Comedy… He’s a Comedian
Tommy Lee- Rock Star
Tiger Woods- Not a Rock Star of Golf… He’s a Professional Golfer
-Special consideration: Tiger Woods is a Rock Star of cheating-

I can only hope that this horrible epidemic slowly starts to dissipate and the untarnished world of being a Rock Star is restored to its true glory. Being able to be famous, fucked up and envied is an honor and a privilege that needs to be protected and respected by the elite few that can truly be called “Rock Star”.

“I’m JUST sayin”…